How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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