Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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