i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
