K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
