I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
