We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
