Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How's work?
Spinning.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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