Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
