I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
