p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
