i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
