If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
