i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
