Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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