MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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