on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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