Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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