grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
no you cant smoke seaweed
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
