Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
