I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
