someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
