yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
