I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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