I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
