Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
