I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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