Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
