Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
