Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Watching her eat just hurts me
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize