I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
