dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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