ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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