i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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