pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
