He told me they were just razor bumps!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
