Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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