I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
