Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
