So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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