if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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