the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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