Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
