so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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