i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
