the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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