seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
soo... how was my night?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize