I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize