Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
