dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
