I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
