I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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