idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
