Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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