My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize