how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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