i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
They have beer where we have blood.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
