walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
