Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
