After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
