yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
