It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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