I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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