Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
