I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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