OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
