Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
