Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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